Memory Monday

I realize it's Tuesday, but I want to start a new aspect of my blog titled "Memory Monday." Each Monday I'm going to write about a memory I have, whether it be special, touching, funny, etc. During the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I oftentimes find myself thinking back to times past. Sometimes I am taken WAY back, and at other times I am simply thinking about the most recent week and its good and hard times, wishing I would've done or said something different, or even wishing I could re-live moments that truly make life worth living. Memory Monday is designed for the recording of those random thoughts and feelings, at least some of them. And even though today is not Monday, I didn't want to wait a whole week to begin.

My initial entry is a memory that has been passing through my mind daily, I should say nightly. The above picture is my Grandma Smith, who passed away a few months ago. This picture is of her and Annabelle the week before Josh left for Afghanistan. This picture makes me cry. I really miss my grandma--I miss seeing her, talking with her, eating with her, and having Annabelle know her. I also miss my baby. Annabelle is growing up so fast, and I swear she was this small for 2 seconds...or less. I simply miss having my grandma here as part of my life and my daughter's life.

The memory that keeps coming to my mind is of her funeral, and the song the grandkids sang together: "Because I Have Been Given Much." That song has taken on a whole new meaning to me since that experience. I can't listen to it without crying, but more importantly the words seem written for her. I hadn't realized that until I was up on the stage singing, reading the words as if I had never heard the song before. It was an emotional moment and one I'll never forget. At night when I sing to Annabelle I try to sing this song to her when we're rocking. Of course I always choke up, but the words always remind me of how I can make her proud and honor her legacy. Because that song fit her so well, I feel I can sing it and feel her close to me, that she is revealing the ways I can make her happy. The song is a comfort, a reminder, and something that will continue to bring her spirit into my life whether I'm singing it or hearing it on the radio, on Temple Square, or at church.

The first verse reminds me how blessed I was to have this AMAZING woman for a grandma: "Because I have been given much I too must give. Because of thy great bounty Lord each day I live, I shall divide my gifts from thee with every brother that I see, who has the need of help from me." During the second verse, I feel I am singing to her: "Because I have been sheltered, fed by thy good care, I cannot see another's lack and I not share. My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof-safe shelter overhead. That he too may be comforted." The third verse is a comforting reminder of what I can do to see and be with her again, what she did during her life to warrant such praise: "Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord, I'll share that love again according to thy word. I shall give love to those in need, I'll show that love by word and deed. Thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed."

I love her. I miss her. I can't wait to see her again, and I hope through this song I can always remember how to ensure that wonderful greeting!