Motherhood

This week felt a bit like life in the fast lane! Didn't I say I wanted to slow down? As my friend Kristine says, "life never really does slow down, does it?" It changes, but it doesn't slow down. Well, everyone who has a child understands just how quickly life can pass you by. One day they're coming home from the hospital, the next day they're turning one, eating chocolate and tearing the house apart! :) I wish I could stop time! I would stay here forever...assuming Josh could be here, of course.
When I was pregnant I don't remember ever being in a huge hurry to have Annabelle; I wasn't the typical "get this baby out of me now" mother-to-be...except at Brady's wedding when my huge, swollen feet forced me to walk down the aisle in flip-flops! :) Nevertheless I knew that as soon as she got here I'd be asking, "Why was I in such a rush?" However now that Annabelle is here, and has filled my life with such joy, I'm asking, "Why did I wait so long to enter this phase of life?" It's amazing, even with all of the ups and downs! With time speeding along and a growing baby in my house, I am feeling perhaps the strongest desire of all--wanting to be there for every second. I love seeing her face and hearing her "talk" first thing in the morning; I love sitting her on my lap to read, and seeing which books will top the favorites and which will be slammed shut without getting through one page; I love watching her throw things over and over again; I love watching her eat her dinner with her hands; I love all of her fake laughs during lunch; I love her loves and kisses (yes, even the slobbery ones); I love seeing her sleep with her little bum sticking straight up in the air, and I love how she makes me a better person, more aware of myself in every way.
So my question is what can I give her in return for all she gives me? Of course I can be there for her; I can feed her; I can read to her; I can play with her and talk to her. But more importantly I can be an example to her. With so much negativity in the world today, it seems a positive attitude is hard to find. While I was reading a talk this week by Jenene Wolsey Baadsgaard, a statement jumped out at me: "I am the only one who can give my children a mother who loves life, no matter what . . . Life as it really is--even not at its best--is downright amazing." I don't think we can underestimate the value of a positive attitude. It is something so simple, yet extremely powerful. Baadsgaard went on to tell a story about how she was seven months pregnant with her third child, and began bleeding during the night. She and her husband rushed to the hospital, only to find out their baby had died. She states, "Leaving the hospital that night with empty arms was one of the hardest things I've ever done. When we arrived home, we found our two baby daughters asleep on our bed. Now, I'd always loved my daughters but never quite as I did at that moment. 'Thank you God,' I whispered. 'They are alive. It is such a miracle to have a child who is alive.'" I was amazed she found something to be grateful for during such a tragic experience. She helped me remember to always focus on what is good and most important, even when it's hard, even when time is speeding along. I'll close with one more quote from her story. She says, "But in time my children...will not require my constant care, and our mutual growing season in my home will have passed all too quickly." I hope I can keep the message of this story with me this week, that I'll remember what a blessing it is to be a mother, to have a baby in my home, and to have the opportunity to be an influence for good in her life.