Uncluttered

My home organization project is almost complete! The only task remaining is the trip to the storage unit, but hey...at least now there is a storage unit to take a trip to! I can't believe how much better I feel. It's truly amazing what a little bit of organization can do for you. I think I've actually read self-help books that advise organizing a drawer, a shelf, etc. when you feel low. So imagine the positive benefits of organizing many drawers, closets and a few rooms! I have also noticed Annabelle's mood begin to improve too--maybe a coincidence, but I'll take it either way. Once I got started, I could not believe how much stuff needed to be thrown out and packed up. No wonder I felt as though my walls were closing in on me! 15 bags of trash, a trip to DI, and half a deck's worth of storage later, I'm feeling like a new woman with everything under control :)
Now on to a few minor improvements in the decor! I've framed a few pictures of Annabelle for the hallway, I am going to attempt sewing curtains for the office, and I'm going to paint a couple shelves for the office and Annabelle's room. I'm not really shooting for domesticity, but more for INEXPENSIVE! I've decided to have a military theme for the office. Josh already has a lot of stuff that he has received as gifts, awards, certificates, keepsakes, etc. I think it'll be a nice place to honor his service and sacrifice. Plus it's all right here, and requires NO shopping or spending! Thank goodness.
I got a haircut yesterday, and I actually really like it. It's shorter than I've ever had it (it touches right above my shoulders when it's curled), but it's so quick and low-maintenance, how can I not be satisfied? I told the hairdresser to thin it out--A LOT! She did, and then I told her to just take out more. I mean, no one is going to notice if I get rid of half my hair--and that's a true story! Plus...I'm pretty sure there was at least a pound of hair on the floor when we were done, which helps me in my weight loss goal. And to think I was just sitting down the whole time I was losing--AWESOME!
Annabelle has been so cute lately; I absolutely LOVE the stage she is in right now! She babbles and babbles and babbles! Sometimes in the morning, we'll have conversations lasting 20 minutes! She's also started using hand gestures as she "talks," which cracks me up. I know the nurse said she should have 5-10 words right now, and blah...blah...blah, but as I watch her walk around babbling and making all kinds of different sounds, I can't help but love it. I am starting to realize that this stage is adorable, and I don't need to wish time away, or wish her to be further along with her vocabulary. She will get there, and I need to savor where she is today! I will let the doctor tell me if she needs further help when she gets older. I have also changed her schedule, and she is now taking only one nap (thanks for all your advice)! I can't believe how much easier it is! And to think I was dreading it! I LOVE it! So much more flexibility.
The best news of all? Josh will be home in a month! Yes, I can count the number of weeks on one hand (as Allison pointed out)! I am very excited, as is he (I'm sure you can imagine)! He and I are planning a 3-night getaway to Vegas almost right ater he gets home, and I can't tell you how excited I am. I am nervous about leaving Annabelle! Since Josh has been gone, I've only been away from her overnight and never for more than 24 hrs. But I know how important it is for he and I to re-connect, and to be husband and wife again. Adjusting back into life as a family is one thing, and adjusting back into a marriage is another thing. They both need "time" and attention, and we feel it's important to take some time together soon after he returns. Josh says as soon as I get to Vegas I'm going to miss being a mom, and the truth is he's probably right. I love Annabelle, and I love being her mom. I LOVE spending time with her! And I know thoughts of her will probably eat me alive while I'm there. But I also know I haven't been a "wife" for an entire year, and both Josh and I have grown and changed during this time. In some respects I feel like an entirely different person from when he left, only because of what I've been through, what I've learned and re-learned about myself. He has been through life-threatening situations and life-changing situations, and I know he is not unchanged. With that said, I realize the importance of getting away and getting to know one another again before we atempt to re-start up our lives together. But...I'll probably be calling my mom, telling her to catch the red-eye to Vegas with Annabelle, so I don't crumble to pieces! :)

Weighty matters

I actually got to the gym today! And even better? Annabelle did very well, and I didn't get called down to the Child Center. When I walked in to pick her up, she was totally lounging on the floor, leaning up against a puffy chair, watching a movie on the big screen. It was actually really cute :) The bad news? I've gained 5 pounds since August 23rd (the last time I weighed myself)! It's not a huge gain, but still...things are not heading in the right direction by any means. I'm about 3 1/2 pounds from going up a size, so I've gotta nip this in the "butt!" Ha Ha

My goal is to get rid of these unwanted 5 intruders by February 28th! Here's to more easy-going gym days, and less poundage!

Difficult Conversations

One challenge of deployment is finding common ground in conversation. Another challenge of deployment is not being able to understand or comprehend things the other person is experiencing in their life. This has become very clear this past week in my conversations with Josh. He and I are able to Instant Message back and forth a few nights per week, and here are 2 recent examples of our conversations:

Conversation #1
J: "How are you?"
R: "Ok. Tired!"
J: "From what?" (I know all you moms out there are laughing inside. Being a mom makes us tired?)
R: "Getting up at 7:45 with Annabelle, driving to get diapers, having her throw up on the way home, getting her bathed, fed, and down for a nap, rinsing out throw up and poop from her clothes, picking up the house, paying bills, teaching my dance class, taking apart and cleaning out the car seat, doing the laundry, fixing dinner, having one hr. of quiet time with Annabelle on my lap (it's not very quiet), and getting her put to bed."
J: "Hmmmmm...did she get car sick? Has she done that a lot?"
R: "No. She hasn't thrown up since getting the new car seat."
J: "Oh. Is it snowing there? Is the new Wal Mart close to opening?"

Conversation #2
R: "How are things?"
J: "It's been pretty crazy over here."
R: "What kind of crazy?"
J: "3 men from our base were killed by an IED a few days ago."
R: "Did you know them?"
J: "Yep. One of them was the Chief of Staff of the base, and I had meetings with him twice a week. I had to go help recover the vehicles after it happened."
R: "Wow. Was it hard?"
J: "Really hard."

As you can see, we don't have a way to fully understand what the other person is going through. It's probably like this for most people in a marriage to some extent, but our lives are soooooooo different from each other that it's even more challenging right now. We sympathize with each other in our "trials," but we'll never fully understand what each other has gone through during this past year. It's one of those times when we've both grown and learned in our own ways--the ways our Heavenly Father intended. We have grown as a couple as well: we have a new respect for the other person, their strengths and courage; we have a new appreciation of together time, and we have gotten to know each other on a completely different level, simply because our only methods of communication are verbal and written conversation (which doesn't allow for "dead air" time or time together without talking). We both agree this deployment kicked some life and love back into our marriage after having a baby and unintentionally neglecting our relationship for a few months. Nevertheless, the majority of growth and learning has been individual. Somehow we still always find at least an hour and a half's worth of things to talk about when we get online; I think that's a testament to our friendship and relationship with each other. But right now we are both feeling that it's time for this to be over, and time to be able to relate to each other again. I always feel awkward not knowing how to respond correctly to something he's either gone through or is working on (a lot of times it goes over my head), and it's challenging not having him know how to respond to a difficult, exhausting day with a toddler. I don't know what it's like to be a deployed soldier, and he doesn't know what it's like to be a single mom. We never will. But the best part is that I do know how to LOVE a deployed soldier, and he definitely knows how to LOVE a single mom. We may not "get" each other right now, but as long as there is enough love, we'll be ok for another month.