1 year ago
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Published
Today I received the Battalion November Newsletter; this is the newsletter I get every month from Josh's Battalion leaders. It always includes a letter from the commander, the 1st sargeant, and a few other various leaders. This month they published an article I wrote about deployment! I'm very excited. Next up? A book! Ha ha :)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thanksgiving Message
Why do we celebrate Thanksgiving? Here is George Washington's Thanksgiving Proclamation:
WHEREAS it is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favour; and Whereas both Houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a DAY OF PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"
NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.
And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.
GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.
(signed) G. Washington
NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed;-- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish Constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted;-- for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge;-- and, in general, for all the great and various favours which He has been pleased to confer upon us.
And also, that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions;-- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.
GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.
(signed) G. Washington
Here is a list of things I am especially thankful for--30 blessings for 30 years!
How it works: Each numbered blessing coordinates with that particular year in my life.
Here are numbers 1 through 15:
1: My Mom: Thanks for having me and loving me
2: My Dad: Thanks for always being there for me, and for always supporting our family!
3: Brittany: Thanks for being my best friend from the very beginning.
4: Dance: I am grateful my mom enrolled me into Creative dance at age 4--Dance has almost always been a huge part of my life. I am so thankful to be able to teach right now--I love my dancers (see pictures below)!
5: Health: I remember walking to school each day for Kindergarten. I am grateful I have my health because I love to dance and work out.
6: Honesty and self-confidence: When I was 6, I told some friends I was on a soccer team (I even lied in my journal)! I was never on a soccer team, but wanted to be "cool." I've learned it's much better to be happy with who I am.
7: Kind people: When I was 7, I made up and not-so-nice song about my teacher. He passed away shortly after that, and I felt terrible. I learned it's better not to speak badly of others. You will always regret it.
8: The Gospel of Jesus Christ: I am so grateful I was baptized into the church. The gift of the Holy Ghost is the best gift I've been given. I hope to always be worthy of that gift.
9: Friends: I began making lifelong friends at this age. Most of my good friends were from clogging because we spent so much time together. I am so thankful for all the great times!
10: Teachers and School: In the 5th grade I began caring about my grades--I always tried to get straight A's. I am grateful to all my instructors who took the time to teach me, and weren't afraid to tell me when I had done something wrong.
11: Competition: At age 11 I started getting really competitive. I wanted to have the best handwriting in the class so Mrs. Mostyn would ask me to write on the board; I cried when I was eliminated from the spelling bee, etc. This fostered growth and improvement and I'm thankful for that.
12: Clogging: I LOVE it--always will! When I was 12, I made the All Rocky Mountain Team for the 1st time. It was soooooo hard to make it, and only 12 were chosen out of hundreds of dancers. It was the 1st time I felt real success and achievement, and I'll never forget it. My clogging yrs. were so fun!
13: Humility: At age 13 I ran for Class President--I lost. Yet I thought I had it in the bag! I was sick the day they announced the results, and my mom called the school. When she told me I had lost, I was shocked. But she had always said, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." It's important to stay humble, and to always work hard. Don't take anything for granted!
14: Innocence: When I was 14 I had my 1st boyfriend. He was way more "experienced" at the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I had never even held a boy's hand! He dumped me because his friends teased him relentlessly for not being able to get to 1st base--only "ready to bunt." Whatever that means! I'm grateful I was strong and naive during those yrs!
15: Role models and hairspray: My drill team instructor became my 1st real role model. She was graceful, kind, beautiful, successful, educated, etc. She was always there for me during a very difficult year. During this year I also had HUGE hair, and went through TONS of hairspray. Brittany says people called me "Mufasa" behind my back! It was probably close to factual, but hey...I still think they should have been kind (refer to #7...I'm thankful for kind people) :)
To Be Continued...
PS-Here are some pics of my dancers!
Friday, November 14, 2008
My Daughter
Annabelle Alyse was born 5 September 2007. She means the world to me! When she was born, I remember feeling overwhelmed and unfit. I think I had the Baby Blues during her first month; I just remember crying a lot and feeling like I didn't know what to do for her. She had colic, and seemed to get very little sleep. I lacked confidence in myself as her mother, and relied more on my mom and Josh to step in and help me out. I had big expectations of what I thought motherhood would be, and then here I was with a screaming baby, still in my pajamas at 3pm. When I think back to these first 4 months, it seems like forever ago, and at the same time feels like yesterday.
I eventually adjusted to my new life as a mom, and Annabelle eventually adusted to her new life as a thriving, happy baby. We made it through. I learned a lot in those first few months, yet the majority of my growth as a mother has come since Josh left for Afghanistan. In fact the majority of my growth as a wife and woman has come since Josh left for Afghanistan. It doesn't surprise me; I'm sure it doesn't surprise any of you. However I am most surprised by how much I have come to adore Annabelle, and how much I love who she is becoming.
She is beautiful and loving. When I go into her room in the morning I always ask her for loves before changing her diaper. She always complies, and even says, "Ohhhhhhhhhh." After breakfast we play and read books together. She will go through the book basket, tossing some aside and tossing her favorites on my lap. She loves books, especially books about animals! When she naps, she sleeps with her little bum straight in the air, or completely sprawled out with a blanket over her face. She loves the feeling of something soft on her face. I love to rock her! She smiles up at me, giggles a little, and then slowly calms down, cuddles a blanket up by her face and goes to sleep. I usually run my fingers through her hair, and when I stop she lifts up her hand and starts doing it herself :) She is always on the go, and LOVES to crawl--not walk. Her smile, laugh, and sense of humor are what really set her apart though. She has an infectious smile which involves squinty eyes and a wrinkled nose. It always brings a smile to my face. Since the day she was born, she has always walked her own path, and I am so grateful. Most importantly she has shown me true love in its purest form. There is nothing better on the face of the earth, I promise you.
This deployment has helped me in many ways, but I believe the most important thing I have gained is a true sense of self. Perhaps this came as a result of being a mother, but I'm not sure. I think I may have traveled a little off center the past few years without realizing it. I realize it now because I feel so different--better. I feel that my life has real purpose, and that I have the strength I need to be who I really am inside. I haven't been acting like someone else, but at times I feel I have lacked the strength to be all I can. Now I feel empowered by assistance from my Heavenly Father. I know now, more than ever, that He is there for me, and will help me be who He needs me to be. Have you ever sat down to read your Patriarchal Blessing and thought, "Wow, I blew it. I have made so many mistakes, and everything that was supposed to be mine is gone. I didn't become who I was supposed to." Well, I have. But I don't feel that way anymore, and I believe Annabelle is the reason. She is a testimony that God exists, and that He has a lot of trust in me as His daughter to raise her on this earth, during this time. I have learned to be strong for her during this year. I have learned patience and faith. When she looks at me, I know she trusts me completely, and loves me unconditionally. She doesn't know or care what mistakes I have made, or where I have been prior to a year ago. She only knows that I love her beyond description, that I will always be there for her, and that I will take care of her.
I feel confident in my ability to love her, to be there for her, and to take care of her. I feel she gives me motivation for being the real me. I don't believe I could ever be "weak" again. My only desire is to be with her and Josh forever, and anything that makes that goal seem farther away is simply not worth it. Here is a song by Martina Mcbride which explains exactly how I feel:
In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see, She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light, and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe, In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger, oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer, I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light. It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave, maybe raise a family
When I'm gone, I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there, In my daughter's eyes
I eventually adjusted to my new life as a mom, and Annabelle eventually adusted to her new life as a thriving, happy baby. We made it through. I learned a lot in those first few months, yet the majority of my growth as a mother has come since Josh left for Afghanistan. In fact the majority of my growth as a wife and woman has come since Josh left for Afghanistan. It doesn't surprise me; I'm sure it doesn't surprise any of you. However I am most surprised by how much I have come to adore Annabelle, and how much I love who she is becoming.
She is beautiful and loving. When I go into her room in the morning I always ask her for loves before changing her diaper. She always complies, and even says, "Ohhhhhhhhhh." After breakfast we play and read books together. She will go through the book basket, tossing some aside and tossing her favorites on my lap. She loves books, especially books about animals! When she naps, she sleeps with her little bum straight in the air, or completely sprawled out with a blanket over her face. She loves the feeling of something soft on her face. I love to rock her! She smiles up at me, giggles a little, and then slowly calms down, cuddles a blanket up by her face and goes to sleep. I usually run my fingers through her hair, and when I stop she lifts up her hand and starts doing it herself :) She is always on the go, and LOVES to crawl--not walk. Her smile, laugh, and sense of humor are what really set her apart though. She has an infectious smile which involves squinty eyes and a wrinkled nose. It always brings a smile to my face. Since the day she was born, she has always walked her own path, and I am so grateful. Most importantly she has shown me true love in its purest form. There is nothing better on the face of the earth, I promise you.
This deployment has helped me in many ways, but I believe the most important thing I have gained is a true sense of self. Perhaps this came as a result of being a mother, but I'm not sure. I think I may have traveled a little off center the past few years without realizing it. I realize it now because I feel so different--better. I feel that my life has real purpose, and that I have the strength I need to be who I really am inside. I haven't been acting like someone else, but at times I feel I have lacked the strength to be all I can. Now I feel empowered by assistance from my Heavenly Father. I know now, more than ever, that He is there for me, and will help me be who He needs me to be. Have you ever sat down to read your Patriarchal Blessing and thought, "Wow, I blew it. I have made so many mistakes, and everything that was supposed to be mine is gone. I didn't become who I was supposed to." Well, I have. But I don't feel that way anymore, and I believe Annabelle is the reason. She is a testimony that God exists, and that He has a lot of trust in me as His daughter to raise her on this earth, during this time. I have learned to be strong for her during this year. I have learned patience and faith. When she looks at me, I know she trusts me completely, and loves me unconditionally. She doesn't know or care what mistakes I have made, or where I have been prior to a year ago. She only knows that I love her beyond description, that I will always be there for her, and that I will take care of her.
I feel confident in my ability to love her, to be there for her, and to take care of her. I feel she gives me motivation for being the real me. I don't believe I could ever be "weak" again. My only desire is to be with her and Josh forever, and anything that makes that goal seem farther away is simply not worth it. Here is a song by Martina Mcbride which explains exactly how I feel:
In my daughter's eyes, I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see, She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes, everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light, and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe, In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger, oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer, I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light. It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes, I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave, maybe raise a family
When I'm gone, I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there, In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I'm thankful for Josh
I just wrote a post on Sunday, but I couldn't resist sitting down to express my gratitude for my husband, Josh, on Veteran's Day! I actually just got off the phone with him a few minutes ago, and he mentioned that his base had come under mortar attacks yesterday. Thankfully he is ok. When I hear news like that it feels very surreal. I am not the type of person to worry; I have faith that he will be protected. Our family life has just begun, and we have much to look forward to in the future!
Rather than dwell on the attack, I'd like to instead express my thanks for him and his service to our country. There are so many things I admire and love about Josh, and his military service has always been close to the top of the list. Here's an actual list of reasons I love him, reasons I married him, and reasons I had a baby with him :)
*I love hearing about everything he is doing in the military; it is all very manly and courageous, which is probably why it cranks up his good looks even more :)
*When I met Josh I was surprised with how nice and personable he was. We were on the same team at Discover Card and he was friends with everyone on the team--no matter who he sat by on any given day, he'd find something in common with them.
*He is a great listener, and lets me talk his ear off in the car and on the phone. I often find myself saying, "Sorry I just rambled on and on and on!" He'll just say, "That's why I called." Awwww sweet.
*He is active and loves the outdoors. I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone to hike with! We both love the mountains in Utah. And we both appreciate a good sweat session!
*He loves to read about a variety of different subjects. I was an English major, and it's wonderful being able to speak to someone who has an appreciation for books.
*He is a gentleman. He always opens my door for me and pumps my gas; he calls me during the day from work just to say he's thinking of me; he always makes me wear my seat belt; he buys me romantic birthday and Valentine gifts; he offered to take the night shift with Annabelle so I could sleep; he never holds back the kisses, and he pulls the chair out for me at restaurants! Even after dating for two years, I don't think I ever picked up the bill (except on our "Super Secret Date" I planned when he was on leave from Iraq).
*He supports me in my personal life. If I want to stay at home with Annabelle, he says I can quit teaching dance at any time. If I want to continue teaching, he supports me, fills me with confidence, and says, "I know they love you over there, but remember I love you more."
*He is a very private person--not to be confused with shyness. He is not shy. Like I mentioned earlier, he'll talk to anyone and everyone. But he retains a certain mystery about him. We have been married over two years, and have known each other for about seven. I am still learning new things about him!
*He knows how to cook! He comes from a family of cooking masters. Anyone who knows me knows I don't cook. The desire is slowly making its way to the surface, but I'm sure once Josh gets home and I'm reminded of all the things he can't eat, it'll quickly go back into hiding :)
*He is AMAZING with babies! I can actually remember the day I saw him hold a baby for the first time; I had never seen a man hold a baby like that! When we had Annabelle, he was overcome with emotion and wouldn't let her out of his arms. Both of our families were standing in the hospital room waiting for a turn to hold her, but he was not going to give her up. I remember talking to him the next morning. I said, "Josh, people are here to see and hold Annabelle. You need to let other people have a turn!" He was oblivious: "Am I being a baby hog?" He totally didn't even realize it :)
*He is kind and respectful to my family. I never had any doubts they would get along well, but it is still something I'll always love about him. I love that he seems to genuinely care about their lives.
*He is a great leader. This month Josh's Team Leader was re-stationed to a different part of Afghanistan. Josh is taking his place, and will lead 9 men. I know he will do well. I have already heard the men are excited about the change.
*He is smokin' hot! I am especially smitten with his height, hands, biceps, triceps, cheek bones and jawline :) And his eyes are captivating as well.
*He talks to himself in the car. He doesn't do it out loud, but when he is having a "conversation" in his head, he sometimes gives himself away by making a hand gesture and/or head nod. I die laughing each time this happens! I LOVE it!
Well, I could go on and on all day. I am so glad I married him, and that he is Annabelle's father. I know how much he loves her, and how much he can't wait to be here with her. He and I broke up once during the dating years, and I am so thankful he came back to me! There have been two times I've had to take Josh to the hospital for random things, and both times I was struck by how much I love him. Seeing the man I love, lying on a hospital bed, not seeming like himself was really hard. I would absolutely die if I ever lost him...which is why I don't ponder those types of thoughts during this deployment. I will love him forever, and I only look forward to happier times ahead. We have so much growing to do together, so much to look forward to as a family. I can't imagine going through it with anyone else! I love you Joshua Shane. Happy Veteran's Day, and thank you for your service to this country!
Rather than dwell on the attack, I'd like to instead express my thanks for him and his service to our country. There are so many things I admire and love about Josh, and his military service has always been close to the top of the list. Here's an actual list of reasons I love him, reasons I married him, and reasons I had a baby with him :)
*I love hearing about everything he is doing in the military; it is all very manly and courageous, which is probably why it cranks up his good looks even more :)
*When I met Josh I was surprised with how nice and personable he was. We were on the same team at Discover Card and he was friends with everyone on the team--no matter who he sat by on any given day, he'd find something in common with them.
*He is a great listener, and lets me talk his ear off in the car and on the phone. I often find myself saying, "Sorry I just rambled on and on and on!" He'll just say, "That's why I called." Awwww sweet.
*He is active and loves the outdoors. I can't tell you how nice it is to have someone to hike with! We both love the mountains in Utah. And we both appreciate a good sweat session!
*He loves to read about a variety of different subjects. I was an English major, and it's wonderful being able to speak to someone who has an appreciation for books.
*He is a gentleman. He always opens my door for me and pumps my gas; he calls me during the day from work just to say he's thinking of me; he always makes me wear my seat belt; he buys me romantic birthday and Valentine gifts; he offered to take the night shift with Annabelle so I could sleep; he never holds back the kisses, and he pulls the chair out for me at restaurants! Even after dating for two years, I don't think I ever picked up the bill (except on our "Super Secret Date" I planned when he was on leave from Iraq).
*He supports me in my personal life. If I want to stay at home with Annabelle, he says I can quit teaching dance at any time. If I want to continue teaching, he supports me, fills me with confidence, and says, "I know they love you over there, but remember I love you more."
*He is a very private person--not to be confused with shyness. He is not shy. Like I mentioned earlier, he'll talk to anyone and everyone. But he retains a certain mystery about him. We have been married over two years, and have known each other for about seven. I am still learning new things about him!
*He knows how to cook! He comes from a family of cooking masters. Anyone who knows me knows I don't cook. The desire is slowly making its way to the surface, but I'm sure once Josh gets home and I'm reminded of all the things he can't eat, it'll quickly go back into hiding :)
*He is AMAZING with babies! I can actually remember the day I saw him hold a baby for the first time; I had never seen a man hold a baby like that! When we had Annabelle, he was overcome with emotion and wouldn't let her out of his arms. Both of our families were standing in the hospital room waiting for a turn to hold her, but he was not going to give her up. I remember talking to him the next morning. I said, "Josh, people are here to see and hold Annabelle. You need to let other people have a turn!" He was oblivious: "Am I being a baby hog?" He totally didn't even realize it :)
*He is kind and respectful to my family. I never had any doubts they would get along well, but it is still something I'll always love about him. I love that he seems to genuinely care about their lives.
*He is a great leader. This month Josh's Team Leader was re-stationed to a different part of Afghanistan. Josh is taking his place, and will lead 9 men. I know he will do well. I have already heard the men are excited about the change.
*He is smokin' hot! I am especially smitten with his height, hands, biceps, triceps, cheek bones and jawline :) And his eyes are captivating as well.
*He talks to himself in the car. He doesn't do it out loud, but when he is having a "conversation" in his head, he sometimes gives himself away by making a hand gesture and/or head nod. I die laughing each time this happens! I LOVE it!
Well, I could go on and on all day. I am so glad I married him, and that he is Annabelle's father. I know how much he loves her, and how much he can't wait to be here with her. He and I broke up once during the dating years, and I am so thankful he came back to me! There have been two times I've had to take Josh to the hospital for random things, and both times I was struck by how much I love him. Seeing the man I love, lying on a hospital bed, not seeming like himself was really hard. I would absolutely die if I ever lost him...which is why I don't ponder those types of thoughts during this deployment. I will love him forever, and I only look forward to happier times ahead. We have so much growing to do together, so much to look forward to as a family. I can't imagine going through it with anyone else! I love you Joshua Shane. Happy Veteran's Day, and thank you for your service to this country!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Thinking Ahead
I am so excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas! I absolutely love this time of year--everything feels a little more exciting. This past weekend I had FM 100 playing each time I was in the car; they have Christmas playing 24/7, and I love it! I also did a little shopping, and found an AMAZING sale at Robert's! I wanted some Fall decorations, and when I went there to see what they had, they were having a HUGE sale--75% off all Fall decor! I loaded up 2 carts, spending between 2 and 4 dollars per item. I spent a total of $35, which gave me enough decorations for my kitchen and front room! I love finding sales! On a side note, I also went to Linens-n-things for their "Going out of Business Blowout Sale"--20% off is NOT a blowout sale people! Needless to say, I did not pull out the debit card for them!
Lately I've been feeling more domestic. Perhaps it's because Annabelle is getting older, and I am so excited to do fun things with her, as well as make fun things for her and for our home. I didn't think I'd ever be the type of mom who "made" things; one of my favorite phrases is "Why make it when you can buy it already made?" Well, I think I understand that making things makes it more personal and more original. I enjoyed making Trick-or-treat buckets for Annabelle and Paige; this past weekend I spent a really nice night with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law doing crafts (I painted a shelf for Annabelle's room), and my mom taught me how to make homemade potpourri on the stove. My next project is going to be making favors for Thanksgiving dinner. I want to make something cute for each place setting. We'll see what I can come up with...Hey maybe if I make the favors I won't have to bring a food assignment!!
I love Thanksgiving! I love hanging out with family and having absolutely nowhere to be. I am so excited to experience this with Annabelle as well; last year we spent Thanksgiving weekend at a cabin in Oakley with Josh's family. It was really relaxing, but Annabelle was so little, and she still had colic. I know she'll get into it more this year--she already LOVES the decorations around the house. Let's hope she's as excited about the food! I think it's promising.
I've decided I'm going to write about something I'm thankful for each time I make an entry this month. Lately I've been feeling so grateful for my close bond with Annabelle. She and I have been through a lot together this year, and I am humbled by the amount of faith and trust she has in me. She has been there to make me smile and laugh. I love her beyond description. I worry about having more children; I know I shouldn't, but I do. I worry I will always feel closer to her, or that I will share a tighter bond with her because of what we've experienced. She and I will have spent a year alone together, and I won't have that with my future babies. How could I possibly feel as close to them as I do now with Annabelle. My mom says mothers always feel this way with their 1st baby, but when the 2nd baby comes, you always love them just as much because there isn't a limit on love--we don't have a limited amount of love to divide among those we love. I'm not worried I won't love them as much as Annabelle; I just know that my relationship with Annabelle has been formed in circumstances that won't be re-created in the future, which leads me to believe it's not possible to re-create this closeness and interdependence. I'm sure I'm wrong :) I'm so thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with her; she is perfect for me, and has given me everything I've needed in order to grow. Because of her I have re-found myself, and I have never been happier with my life. I am sure my husband will tell you the same thing--babies change lives for the better!!
Lately I've been feeling more domestic. Perhaps it's because Annabelle is getting older, and I am so excited to do fun things with her, as well as make fun things for her and for our home. I didn't think I'd ever be the type of mom who "made" things; one of my favorite phrases is "Why make it when you can buy it already made?" Well, I think I understand that making things makes it more personal and more original. I enjoyed making Trick-or-treat buckets for Annabelle and Paige; this past weekend I spent a really nice night with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law doing crafts (I painted a shelf for Annabelle's room), and my mom taught me how to make homemade potpourri on the stove. My next project is going to be making favors for Thanksgiving dinner. I want to make something cute for each place setting. We'll see what I can come up with...Hey maybe if I make the favors I won't have to bring a food assignment!!
I love Thanksgiving! I love hanging out with family and having absolutely nowhere to be. I am so excited to experience this with Annabelle as well; last year we spent Thanksgiving weekend at a cabin in Oakley with Josh's family. It was really relaxing, but Annabelle was so little, and she still had colic. I know she'll get into it more this year--she already LOVES the decorations around the house. Let's hope she's as excited about the food! I think it's promising.
I've decided I'm going to write about something I'm thankful for each time I make an entry this month. Lately I've been feeling so grateful for my close bond with Annabelle. She and I have been through a lot together this year, and I am humbled by the amount of faith and trust she has in me. She has been there to make me smile and laugh. I love her beyond description. I worry about having more children; I know I shouldn't, but I do. I worry I will always feel closer to her, or that I will share a tighter bond with her because of what we've experienced. She and I will have spent a year alone together, and I won't have that with my future babies. How could I possibly feel as close to them as I do now with Annabelle. My mom says mothers always feel this way with their 1st baby, but when the 2nd baby comes, you always love them just as much because there isn't a limit on love--we don't have a limited amount of love to divide among those we love. I'm not worried I won't love them as much as Annabelle; I just know that my relationship with Annabelle has been formed in circumstances that won't be re-created in the future, which leads me to believe it's not possible to re-create this closeness and interdependence. I'm sure I'm wrong :) I'm so thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with her; she is perfect for me, and has given me everything I've needed in order to grow. Because of her I have re-found myself, and I have never been happier with my life. I am sure my husband will tell you the same thing--babies change lives for the better!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
A trip to the mall
Do you remember what it's like to go to the mall without children? I remember going to the mall alone in early August--the night before Josh came home for leave--to pick up a few cute outfits. It's so rare that I actually get the opportunity to go out with my husband, as well as wear anything but loungewear and dance attire, so I wanted to look and feel cute again! I had a spring in my step, walking from store to store, carrying only my purse and purchases. I waited in lines for 10 minutes without feeling my blood pressure and body temperature rise--Annabelle would've been a fussy gussy for sure, and I probably would've re-racked the items and left. It was so nice to be able to browse without being in a rush, to try something on and look at it from a few different angles before making a decision, to actually fit in the dressing room and have extra space for a sit-down test and a couple of spins. Having a baby and/or stroller in the dressing room with you makes for extremely tight quarters! I actually spent so much time in the dressing room that night, the employees had coordinating shirts, shoes and pants flopping over my door at record speeds--suggestions for completing the look. That hasn't happened to me in over a year! Usually they can't even catch up with me to say, "Can I help you find anything?" If they would stop asking me at the register if I want to save 10% by opening up their credit card, I'd be even quicker! As I was leaving the mall that night, I stopped at Mrs. Field's and bought my favorite cookie and a chocolate milk. I always buy a snack at the end because I've finished trying on clothes :) Today I took a wonderful trip to the mall with my mom, Brittany, Paige, Daisy and Annabelle. Our first stop was the Food Court. We all had some lunch--a full meal right off the bat! That was immediately followed by a ride on the merry-go-round. Annabelle and Paige loved it!
Because Annabelle had a recent growth spurt, I had to get her some new shoes, so it was down to Payless. Then I decided to stop into Kiddie Kandids for a quick sitting (she looked so cute I couldn't resist). I don't think I'll go there anymore. Why do they insist on shoving multi-colored feather dusters in their faces. Annabelle didn't respond very well to that tactic, or the deafening sqeaky duck either, but she pulled off three decent shots. From there it was down to the "playground" where Paige and Annabelle ran around and played. And that was our day!
Because Annabelle had a recent growth spurt, I had to get her some new shoes, so it was down to Payless. Then I decided to stop into Kiddie Kandids for a quick sitting (she looked so cute I couldn't resist). I don't think I'll go there anymore. Why do they insist on shoving multi-colored feather dusters in their faces. Annabelle didn't respond very well to that tactic, or the deafening sqeaky duck either, but she pulled off three decent shots. From there it was down to the "playground" where Paige and Annabelle ran around and played. And that was our day!
It was definitely different from my mall visit in August, but it was so much better. I got to spend time with people I love, and I was there to care for Annabelle and listen to her say "Alright!" for the 30th time in 2 days! :) On our way home she became fussy (she hadn't had a nap and we were approaching the dinner time deadline). We still had a ways to go before reaching home, so I began to sing to her. She immediately stopped crying, so I kept singing. After 5 minutes I looked back, and she was sound asleep. I got misty-eyed and felt so much gratitude. I am so thankful I have her in my life. I am so grateful she loves me, and is comforted by me. It gives me faith in my ability as her mother. At times I rack my brain trying to figure out everything she needs in order to thrive, in order to be happy and well-behaved. Today on our ride home I was reminded that what babies needs most is tenderness, love, and care--the priceless gifts their mothers provide by simply being there. I love her.
PS: Enjoy the pics from Halloween--I actually made trick-or-treat buckets for Annabelle and Paige this year. My sis-in-law, Nikki, taught me :)
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